Family : B'nai Mitzvah Prep

For more information on B'nai Mitzvah Prepartation, contact Jordan Ottenstein at 314.361.1564 ext 106 or jordan@centralreform.org, or go to the website at bnaimitzvah.centralreform.org

From Rabbi Talve

I will never forget the moment during Sarika's Bat Mitzvah service when her older brother Jacob blessed her by telling her that his Bar Mitzvah was the best day of his life and he hoped that this would be the best day of her life, too. This is what I hope for each one of our students: that they experience the joy and awe of leading our congregation in prayer, that they develop and have a chance to share a teaching from their Torah portion that will continue to guide and inspire them through the challenging adolescent years and that they come to understand that they are doing this with God's help. There is such a great wisdom in having this celebration at the doorway to adolescence. We require much of our students and we make sure that each one succeeds and can take the knowledge of what they are capable of and how much they are loved and appreciated by family and community into the years ahead. It also prepares us as parents for the difficult task ahead of letting go. We realize that our time with them at home is going fast and we have precious time left to share with them the life lessons that they will need to be the kind of people we hope they will be in the world.

We depend heavily on our families to support our students. The first step is the commitment to Hebrew School. Our curriculum is designed to teach our students the prayers they need for the B'nai Mitzvah service. Our school is very respectful of different learning styles and the needs of students in an after school program. We need consistency in attendance to support their learning. We are also trying to build community with our children as we are trying to build community with our adults. Our students come from many different schools and communities. We want to share with them our value of being inclusive, which doesn't leave room here for cliques and what is usually "normal" middle school behavior! We are trying to build in an identity for each class with workshops and retreats. We hope that the whole class will be invited to the celebrations and we hope that you will help us address any unkind or exclusive behavior that you are aware of.

It also really helps to come as often as you can to our Saturday morning services. The students who come regularly with their families understand that this is not a "show" and they are never nervous. Rather, they know that their service is a celebration of Shabbat that occurs each and every week. The congregation gets to know you and your child and you become a part of the community in a very profound way. We try to teach our students that we "practice" prayer and that when we "practice" prayer, like practicing an instrument or a sport, we get better at it and deepens our experience and renews our souls.

We have worked very hard to keep our B'nai Mitzvah celebrations as a part of our regular Shabbat morning worship. In many congregations, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah is celebrated separately with only the family and friends attending. I do not believe that this builds community or teaches our students the lessons of being part of a larger congregation. Offering a Kiddush to the entire congregation at the end of the service and being sensitive to the many reasons we attend Shabbat services at CRC will help to preserve this precious experience for us all.

Thank you for sharing your amazing children with us. I learn something wonderful from each one and I hope that each one is preparing for the best day of their life.